Moving BEYOND Grief
It all begins with an idea.
Practical Ways to Understand and Support Your Grief Journey
A Personal Reflection on Healing
From my own journey, I’ve learned that healing doesn’t mean forgetting or “getting over” the loss. It means learning to live with it — carrying the memories and pain with compassion, both for ourselves and for those around us. It’s a process of building new ways to communicate, to support one another, and to hold space for the grief that still lingers.
If you’re walking this path too, know you’re not alone. Grief may feel like a silent burden, but sharing stories, seeking support, and practicing kindness toward yourself can help light the way forward.
Moving Beyond Grief:
Understanding the Journey and Finding New Ways to Heal
Grief is one of the most profound experiences we can face in life. It’s deeply personal and often confusing, but it’s also a process—a journey we all must navigate in our own way. I want to share a bit of my own story, in hopes it can offer some comfort and understanding as we explore the stages of grief and ways to move toward healing.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings — All of Them
Grief can stir up a vast range of emotions — sadness, anger, guilt, relief, confusion, even moments of joy. It’s common to want to “push away” the difficult feelings or rush toward “feeling better,” but true healing begins when you allow yourself to fully experience your emotions without judgment.
How to practice: Try journaling your feelings daily or whenever a wave of emotion hits. Write without censoring yourself, as if you were speaking to a trusted friend.
Why it helps: Naming your feelings brings them out of the shadows and reduces their intensity. It also shows your mind that you are safe to feel, which can gradually calm emotional overwhelm.
Example:
One woman I know would write letters to her lost loved one, pouring out her anger and sorrow on paper. Later, she described feeling lighter, as if the burden had been shared instead of carried alone.
2. Find Healthy Outlets
Grief often builds up inside and needs a way to express itself safely. Creative or physical outlets give your feelings a place to live and breathe, preventing them from becoming stuck or turning inward destructively.
Creative outlets: painting, drawing, writing poetry, music, dance, or crafting.
Physical outlets: walking in nature, yoga, gentle exercise, or deep breathing techniques.
How to practice: Pick one creative activity that feels appealing—even if you don’t consider yourself “artistic.” Let yourself experiment without pressure. Or try a daily 10-minute walk focusing on your breath and surroundings.
Why it helps: These activities activate different parts of your brain, helping process emotions and reducing stress hormones.
Example:
A man grieving his mother started going on early morning hikes alone. The quiet and fresh air gave him space to think and gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling grounded.
3. Seek Support—But On Your Terms
Grief can feel isolating, yet sometimes people around you don’t know how to support you. It’s okay to set boundaries or specify what kind of support you need.
Types of support: listening ears, practical help (meals, errands), professional counseling, peer support groups.
How to practice: Communicate openly with friends and family. For example, say, “Right now, I mostly need someone to listen,” or “I appreciate check-ins but not advice.”
Why it helps: Being clear prevents misunderstandings and helps you get the support that actually soothes you.
Example:
One woman found a grief support group online where people shared similar losses. The anonymity allowed her to open up without fear, and hearing others’ stories helped her feel less alone.
4. Reframe Your Thoughts
Grief can trap us in painful thought loops—“I shouldn’t feel this way,” or “I’ll never be okay.” Learning to gently notice and reframe these thoughts can shift your emotional experience over time.
How to practice: When you catch yourself in a negative thought, pause and ask: “Is this thought 100% true? Is there another way to see this?” Then replace it with a kinder, more balanced statement.
Examples of reframes:
“I’m allowed to grieve at my own pace.”
“Feeling pain shows how deeply I loved.”
“It’s okay to find moments of joy amidst grief.”
Why it helps: Changing your internal dialogue rewires your brain to be more compassionate and resilient.
Example:
A client replaced “I’m broken” with “I am healing in my own way,” and this small shift helped reduce her feelings of despair and hopelessness.
5. Create Meaning and Rituals
Rituals help us acknowledge loss in a tangible way and can foster ongoing connection with what we’ve lost while helping us move forward.
Types of rituals: lighting candles, creating memory boxes, planting gardens or trees, making scrapbooks, or holding an annual remembrance.
How to practice: Find or invent a ritual that resonates with you. It can be simple and private, like lighting a candle each evening, or something shared with loved ones.
Why it helps: Rituals provide comfort, structure, and a way to honor the past without being stuck in it.
Example:
After her father passed, a woman started baking his favorite pie on his birthday each year, sharing the pies with family. This ritual became a loving way to celebrate his life and keep his memory alive.
"Sometimes, the people we’ve lost live the loudest in the silence they leave behind."
— Rebecca McNutt
Bonus Tip: Practice Self-Compassion
Grief is exhausting, and it’s easy to be hard on yourself for “not moving on faster.” Treat yourself as you would a dear friend—with patience, kindness, and understanding.
How to practice: When you notice self-criticism, pause and say, “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m doing the best I can.”
Why it helps: Self-compassion lowers stress, increases emotional resilience, and supports healing.
My Story: Losing My Younger Brother
TRIGGER WARNING
A few years ago, my family and I lost my younger brother to suicide. That loss struck us all deeply, but what I remember most clearly is how differently each of us experienced grief. We were like waves in the same storm — sometimes crashing together in shared sorrow, other times drifting apart in silence and misunderstanding.
At times, grief brought us closer — huddling around memories and holding each other up. But there were moments when just looking at one another was too painful, filled with unspoken sorrow and raw emotions. The timing and intensity of grief were different for each of us, which sometimes made communication hard and left us feeling isolated even in the same room.
This experience left a scar on our hearts — one that might never fully heal. But it also opened our eyes to the silent struggles many face behind closed doors. Grief is complicated, and the path through it is not linear or neat.
A Personal Reflection on Healing
From my own journey, I’ve learned that healing doesn’t mean forgetting or “getting over” the loss. It means learning to live with it — carrying the memories and pain with compassion, both for ourselves and for those around us. It’s a process of building new ways to communicate, to support one another, and to hold space for the grief that still lingers.
If you’re walking this path too, know you’re not alone. Grief may feel like a silent burden, but sharing stories, seeking support, and practicing kindness toward yourself can help light the way forward.
What I Tried: Personal Ways to Navigate Grief
Everyone’s grief journey is unique, but I want to share some of the ways I personally coped after losing my brother. These practices didn’t erase the pain, but they helped me carry it more gently and find moments of peace amid the storm.
1. Speaking to My Brother
Sometimes, when the silence felt too heavy, I would talk aloud to my brother — sharing my day, telling him things I wished I could say, or just saying, “I miss you.” It felt like a bridge to keep him close, even though he was gone. This helped me process feelings I couldn’t quite put into words otherwise.
2. Writing Letters
Writing letters became a safe place for my thoughts and emotions. I poured out everything — anger, sadness, memories, questions. I didn’t send these letters anywhere; they were just for me, a way to express what was bottled up inside without judgment.
3. Memorializing Through Habits
Creating rituals or habits connected to my brother’s memory gave me comfort. For example, I started playing his favorite music on certain days or cooking a meal he loved. These small acts helped me honor him and keep a part of him present in my everyday life.
4. Speaking About the Loss Often
At first, I thought I should avoid talking about it so I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed or make others uncomfortable. But I found that speaking about my brother openly — with friends, family, or support groups — was healing. It broke the silence and helped others understand what I was going through.
5. Finding Support from Others Who’ve Been There
Connecting with people who had experienced similar losses made a huge difference. Sharing stories, listening, and knowing I wasn’t alone in my grief gave me strength. It reminded me that while grief is deeply personal, there’s a community of healing waiting to embrace you.
“In the garden of memory, in the palace of dreams… that is where you and I shall meet.”